March 17, 2011-Random Thoughts-Getting Older

Time, it passes us by faster than we want. One day you are a young teen eager to get older and then you are an adult wishing to be younger. Who ever said "youth is wasted on the young" wasn't kidding. I didn't realize when I was younger that we really had it easy. We had no cares, no bills, no major responsibilities, and had all of our needs met by our caregivers. Now, I have to care about everything, I have bills coming in from everywhere, responsibilities out the wazoo, and I have to meet my own needs.

For a long time, and even still, I wanted to be a vampire. Vampires have two good things going for them, they never grow old, and they never die. Yes, the drinking blood is an icky downfall, but it was a price I would have gladly paid to be immortal. Getting old scares the crap out of me, although not as much as dying does. Old age because the thought of becoming an invalid does not appeal to me. Death, well, obviously the being dead part.

My dad once said that while your body ages, you don't feel like you are. That you only know you are getting older is because your body refuses to do what it did when you were younger. Its so true. I look in the mirror and can see myself aging every day. However, my mind and soul still feel young. I find it a cruel joke in a way, one I had to be really hard pressed to laugh at.

I am now a 32 year old mother of six kids and that is something I thought I'd never say. I wanted at the most three children...preferably two girls and a boy. Six kids, I mean really, who ever thinks about wanting that many kids. The only time having six kids ever crossed my mind was playing "The Game of Life" with my cousin Wendy and for some strange reason, I ALWAYS ended up with 6 kids. I remember thinking at the time "over my dead body"....funny, I'm not dead yet.