Friday, April 1, 2011

April 1, 2011--You know what causes that don't you?

The dreaded phrase that a mom of many hates to hear. In the beginning, I held my tongue and usually responded with something polite. However, after awhile of hearing this repeatedly, my responses have changed to snarky.

Nosy Person: "You do know what causes that don't you?"

Me: "Yes, I do know and I happen to enjoy it. I also think I am quite good at it and apparently so does my husband. You should only be surprised I don't have a lot more children than I do."

Nosy Idiot: "You know they have birth control for that don't you?"

Me: "Holy Crap! Really!! You mean all this time I could have avoided having these kids?! Why didn't someone tell me there is a thing called birth control! WHY GOD WHY!!!"

Nosy Moron: "Are they ALL yours? You need to develop a hobby"

Me: "I have a hobby. I make great bank off of it. However, as you can see, sometimes accidents happen from it. Now if I only knew who the father was of each. Wait, you look're husband isn't named John is he?"

They usually shut up and leave me alone after that. I actually have a few replies I use. It just depends on who is asking on what reply I use. Some people are genuinely nice about it, others are down right rude. So, rude people get a rude response.

I think what REALLY ticks me off is when they bring up me getting "fixed". WHAT?!?!?! Why in the world would a stranger tell another stranger something as personal as that. If I want to have 21 kids, than by george I will have that many. I mean, damn, my reproductive choices are not anyones business. Honestly, were some people not born with that filter that goes between the brain and the mouth?

I think I'm going to have a shirt made that says "On the search for the father of my next child. Apply in front."

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